Presentation Time - The Golden Hammer @ The Online ColdFusion Meetup

On Thursday, February 25, 2021 at 11a-12p CST, come check out my presentation, "The Golden Hammer: Confessions of a Recovering Database Abuser" with Charlie Arehart and  The Online ColdFusion Meetup.

I've given this talk once before, about 200 years ago, during the early days of COVID, way back in May 2020, at the Into The Box online conference. That was the first time I spoke, and this will be the second. Hopefully I'll be able to teach you something while also being at least a little entertaining. 

I'll be talking about some of the database mistakes I made when I was a budding developer. I've learned quite a bit about databases since the early 2000s, and as my SQL knowledge expanded I began to realize that I had developed some bad habits and some of my biggest problems were self-inflicted. Today, databases have grown much larger, but they've also become significantly smarter. In a smaller system, many problems are covered up. In a database with only a few thousand records, you won't notice the difference between a query that takes 2 ms to run vs one that takes 200ms. But when the database has millions of records, that same query may take 20 seconds. That's can become extremely troublesome, and it's not really something a user has the patience for. 

I used to blame a lot on the server hardware, or insufficient memory, or the slow network or whatever else wasn't my query code. Until I had a DBA show me that a report that took several hours to complete could run in a few minutes, with nothing more than changes to the database and queries.

Hopefully some of the things I go over will help some of you write better SQL that will make your applications fly. 

Join the Meetup here. 

And here's the link to the video stream. Or at least the link to what will become the video stream after my presentation's over.

Also, don't forget to sign up for The Online ColdFusion Meetup Group. Charlie has been putting these together for quite some time, and it's always been a fantastic place to find information.

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WRAP UP (FEB 25, 2021):

Thank you to all who attended. If there were any questions I didn't answer, please feel free to reach out to me, and I'll do my best to address them. 

YouTube Recording: LINK (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq2t6ulM4hY&list=PLG2EHzEbhy0-QirMKgSxhjkUyTSSTvHjL)
Presentation Slides: LINK (https://www.dropbox.com/s/50bvj39fgs6q1e8/preso_ShawnOden_GoldenHammer_OCFMG20210225.pdf?dl=0)

The +1 Is Now Done...

 My MCSx journey has come to an end. I previously wrote about obtaining MCSE: Data Management and Analytics., and I have now finished up the one test that I didn't have to take, but just wanted to take. Yesterday, I completed 70-761 to earn a second MCSA. I know it's actually a lower cert than the MCSE I just earned, but I already paid for the study materials and the voucher to take the test. 

My original goal was to take the tests for the two MCSAs and combine them into the MCSE, but that got re-prioritized to just aim for the one MCSA then the MCSE. And to be honest, I originally thought that I could take this test without any effort. It's on SQL Development, which I've been doing for many, many years. I thought I'd just take a practice test to see if there was anything I needed to work on and then go in and take the cert when I did the first test. 

So I took the practice test and got a 36%. Talk about an ego-buster. I was extremely disappointed in myself. I'm not sure what I did, but that test got immediately de-prioritized and moved to the back. I pretty much wrote it off so I could focus on the others that I actually needed to do. 

After I passed the first two, I ordered the study materials for both 70-762 and 70-761 together, since I got a discount for getting both at the same time. I set the 761 book aside and didn't look at it until I finished the MCSE. 

After Christmas, I pretty much decided I had a month until Microsoft retired the exam, and I had already bought the stuff, so why not. If I borked it again, no biggie; I'd already spent the money. It was very nice to have absolutely no pressure on this thing. 

I used pretty much the same study method I used for the other tests. 

Study materials:
Udemy Courses
MeasureUp tests - which was the practice test that I did so horrible on
Microsoft Press Exam Ref books
Exam Skills
Microsoft.com Exam Reference

MCSA: SQL 2016 Database Development

This test was difficult, but mostly because of some of the answers weren't very good answers. There were several questions that required me to write out the query, that weren't difficult, but were time-consuming. There were other questions that had correct answers that used old-style ANSI 89 JOINS, like SELECT * FROM x,y ..., that absolutely drove me nuts. I really should have left a comment on those questions, but the cert is being retired in a couple of weeks anyway. Meh.

When I submitted the test, I knew I'd passed it this time, but wasn't sure by how much. I crushed it: 900. I feel slightly vindicated for the horrible practice test score. 

I didn't need to take that test, but it added one more cert to my resume. In addition to the previous MCSE: Data Management and Analytics and MCSA: SQL 2016 Database Administration, I now also have a MCSA: SQL 2016 Database Development.  

Just in time for retirement. 

Welcome to 2021! I actually got stuff done this year!

2020 was definitely a year to remember. We made it through, but it's been an adventure. 

January and February weren't too bad. I got to lament about the things I didn't accomplish in 2019. Or 2018. Or 2017. Or.... you get the picture. I also participated in T-SQL Tuesday #122 about Imposter Syndrome. - I need to write more about this topic. I finished January on a high note: I got accepted to talk at Into The Box 2020 down in Houston. Golden Hammer: Confessions of a Recovering Database Abuser

But then March came along and set a different pace for the year. 

> March 3. I woke up around midnight to a tornado that came less than 1000 yards from my house. I watched that broadcast on Channel 5 News while it happened, and saw the radar moving towards my house. I didn't realize exactly how close it was. It moved through quickly but destroyed large parts of Nashville and left us with no electricity for over a week. We were lucky. We lost most of our trees, including part of one that landed on my wife's car, but no severe damage to our house. We had to spend the week in a hotel, but a lot of people in town lost their entire houses or businesses. There was lots of damage, including a lot of damage at the school my wife teaches at. 

>> Then COVID lockdowns hit. People needed to clean up storm damage, but nothing was getting done. 

>> Later in March, I changed to W2 @ SysPlus from 1099 contractor with ISPA. 

April - 

>> I finally bought a new office chair. My old chair made it almost 20 years. Not too shabby. 

May - 

>> Adobe ColdFusion Developer Week - online 

>> Into The Box was supposed to be live. This was going to be my first time speaking. But thanks to COVID, the conference was changed. Many conferences cancelled outright, but Ortus did an amazing job putting together a very nice virtual conference. I still got to speak, and this was to be the first of this year's online conferences. I missed seeing some of these people, but I'll catch them when we can be in person. Regardless, it was a lot of fun. Thank you, Ortus. 

June - 

>> On June 3, my wife and I have been married for 25 Years. We had grand plans for our Silver Anniversary, but thanks again, COVID. Hopefully we'll be able to do something next year. 

July - (Birthday month!)

>> T-SQL Tuesday #128. 

>> I bought a pool. Then began the wait for installation. 

>> I got traded. I ended the contract with SysPlus and started a new contract with Jacobs. All without ever leaving the same seat I've been in since the end of 2016. The life of a Government Contractor. :-)

August - 

>> August 13. The pool is installed! Finally

>> August 17. Back in to the office. 

>> August 27. And back to working from home. Thanks yet again, COVID.

September - 

>> Time to begin winterizing the pool. :-(  At least I got to swim for a little bit before it started getting too cold.

October - 

>>  Microsoft 70-764 test 1 for MCSE.  -- Took several days to get scheduled, but I got it done and passed the test.

>> Renewed my Flight Instructor Certificate again. https://www.acecfi.com

November - 

>> Vote for President. And then the drama that followed.

>> CF  Summit - Online  -- Day 1 & -- Day 2

>> Nov 26 back to 50% staff. Only come in as needed.

>> Microsoft 70-765 test 2 for MCSA & MCSE  -- I got in and passed this test, but on the day I came in to work, I got exposed to someone who tested positive for COVID. I tested negative, but it was still a little worrisome for a few days. 

December -

>> Advent of Code is live. I wanted to do better than I did last year. Technically I did; I made it to Week 7. But I would have liked to have gone a bit farther. Next year, I hope to finish up some of these exercises from previous years. https://github.com/shawnoden/aoc

>> Microsoft 70-762 test 3 for MCSE -- So I did a thing...  

>> I finished off the year as a winner in our =VX9= Holiday Raffle. I won an Asus 1080 video card, which is older, but still a good card, and a pricy prize. Thank you, =VX9=. ONE TEAM!!!

We made it through the year without an alien invasion, so next year can't be so bad. Right?

On to 2021.

What do you call the person who graduated last in their med school class?

Doctor.

It's an old joke, but one I very much appreciated today. Just like the person last in class, I would like to have done better: I needed 700; I got 721. I was pretty close. But, at the end of the day, this still belongs to me....

I knocked out 70-762 today. 

Study materials:
Udemy Courses
MeasureUp tests
Microsoft Press Exam Ref books
Exam Skills
Microsoft.com Exam Reference

MCSE: Data Management and Analytics

Since I began my professional geek journey a little over two decades ago, I've known about the big Microsoft MCSE Certification. It's changed a bit over the years, but I honestly never thought I'd be one of the people to obtain one. On my journey to MCSE, I am now 3 for 3 (well, technically 4 for 5, but we don't count MCSA for SQL 2012/14, right?). That's 70-764 and 70-765 for an MCSA: Database Administration. And today caps off 70-762 for an MCSE: Data Management & Analytics. 

I know Microsoft is retiring MCSx at the end of January, but this was a requirement for where I work. I've  only had a few months to knock out all 3, but I'm a little proud of myself for actually pulling it off. It helped that I've been a database person for several years now, but it REALLY DIDN'T HELP that COVID has played a little bit of havoc with our ability do things like be around a proctor. I've been fortunate that we have a proctor site on base that I can take these tests in. There is absolutely ZERO chance that I could make my home office an acceptable place for an exam proctor.

Since I have access to that on-base proctoring, I think I'll probably also take 70-761 and add on the MCSA: Database Development while I can.

And since Microsoft has apparently decided that Azure will rule the world, I guess I'll be taking a look at that next. 

I'm going to try to enjoy my shiny new MCSE for the last couple of weeks of the sh*t-show that has been 2020, and not even think about certification stuff until January. 

Yeah, right.

An Aviation Legend Has Passed Away

Chuck Yeager's life reads like a storybook. His aviation career started on the mechanic side, but he apparently decided to become a pilot after realizing that "pilots have beautiful girls on their arms". During his early exploits as a P-51 fighter pilot, he was shot down over France, but survived the bailout to be rescued by the French Resistance. He escaped over the mountains to Spain, carrying another wounded pilot (who he had to preform emergency surgery on in the field), and was reunited with Allied forces. He was able to talk his way back into a flying slot, and on October 12, 1944, shot down 5 Luftwaffe planes in a single engagement - two without even firing a shot at them (by colliding during evasive maneuvers). Later that November, he became one of the first pilots to shoot down a German ME-262 jet. 

Chuck Yeager came home from WWII as a Double Ace, with 11 confirmed aerial victories.

At that point in their career, a pilot has had a pretty good run, so they should probably retire, right? Not Chuck. 

 On October 14, 1947, Chuck Yeager climbed into the cockpit of a Bell X-1 (named "Glamorous Glennis" - like all his other aircraft - after his wife), to attempt another first. 

Up until this point, it was believed that an airplane couldn't move faster than sound without breaking apart. It showed an unbelievable amount of guts to want to prove that belief wrong, and it took a very special pilot to be willing to risk everything to shatter that belief. Chuck was that pilot.

The margin of error for that flight was incredibly slim, and when his drop plane released him well below the required speed, the attempt very nearly ended in disaster before it had even really started. But Chuck Yeager's piloting skill allowed him to keep the X-1 under control and begin his test run. 

According to Yeager himself, the only indication that he had even crossed the Sound Barrier was a small blip on the airspeed indicator. 

He did it.

His earlier exploits as a pilot had already likely ensured himself a spot in the history books, but this event highlighted him. Everyone would know the name Chuck Yeager.

He ushered in a new age of aviation, and he continued on to push the limits further and further. He faced death several times over the course of his career, but kept on keeping on. His story is legend.

On December 7, 2020, Chuck Yeager, one of the most legendary and fascinating people in the history of aviation, passed away at 97 years old. 

From his autobiography: "I haven't yet done everything, but by the time I'm finished, I won't have missed much," he wrote. "If I auger in (crash) tomorrow, it won't be with a frown on my face. I've had a ball."  

General Yeager, you have been an inspiration to pretty much every pilot I've ever known. Thank you.

Advent of Code 2020

 Advent of Code 2020 has begun! 

I have a lot going on right now, but let's see if I make it further this year than I have in past years. 

Two Down.....

One (+1) to go.... And an MCSA!

Up next is 70-765.

Study materials:

Udemy Courses

MeasureUp tests

Microsoft Press Exam Ref books 

Exam Skills

Microsoft.com Exam Reference

MCSA: SQL 2016 Database Administration

I studied hard for 70-765, and I procrastinated a bit again on going in to take this test. I wanted to knock all 3 of these out before Thanksgiving, but my Imposter Syndrome was really flaring up. I was slow. And then, because of COVID, I was delayed trying to get into my testing center. I could have done a remote proctored exam, but that would pretty much meant finding an alternate, quiet place to go for it. There's no way possible that I'd be able to clear my home office enough to satisfy the proctors. Plus, I've read some horror stories about proctors ending tests if someone just looked away from their screen. No thanks. 

Fortunately, the Army base that I work on has an Authorized Testing Center right across the street from my office, so guess where I decided to take the test.

Unfortunately, the main proctor there was quarantined because of COVID, and the other proctors were either unavailable or had tech issues with Pearson. The clock was ticking, and I was running out of time. 

Fortunately, I was able to schedule a slot THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING! Huge Thank You to the people over there who were able to schedule me in right before a holiday on short notice. 

This test was harder than the first, but once again, I finished with plenty of time left. I think it took me just a little over an hour to finish. I thought I'd tanked this one, too. But the voucher I bought included a free retake, so I could study over Thanksgiving and retake it the next week. No biggie. 

Final Score: 790 :-)

It wasn't spectacular, but it was PASSING. I got to breathe a huge sigh of relief and know that I'd get to at least enjoy my Thanksgiving break. 

Best of all, I got to call my wife and tell her I had now earned one of these:

Now all that's left is just to cap it off with 70-762 and the MCSE. I got this.